graduation (ft california pictures)

by - 5/10/2018

hello yes san diego this is ILLEGAL

In a way, I've felt graduated for a while now.

Thanks to the wonders of homeschooling this senior year has been unscheduled and more of a fade-out than a dramatic exit -- I'm not a fan of graduation parties or making a fuss, so I'm choosing to go out like I never started in the first place. I've been working most days for a while now. I'm pursuing career-ish things. I'm driving, taking trips, being, for the most part, a new-ish adult. Now, though, high school is offiicially behind me.

Can you say weird? 

People ask you what you want to do when you graduate. There's an awkward pause between the asking and your answer, where you try to figure out how to phrase actually, I want to make stories in a way that will satisfy your random acquaintance from church or a curious coworker. People want you to have a college lined up and your life in place. People want you to know.

I don't know isn't an answer that sits well with them. I don't know isn't the phrase you use when you graduate high school and are expected to move on to the next stage of your life. I don't know especially isn't cool when it goes along with actually, I'm not planning on going to college, friend, and more often than not, it means people nod tightly and back away with a smile that says good luck with that one. 

I'm learning to handle those moments with confidence. I've got lots of chances to practice.

california no

Right now, my summer is booked. Between work and podcast season launching and some exciting creative projects, my life for the next few months is falling into a pattern that's still interesting but mostly reliable. In the fall, though, when everyone else goes to college, when my plans are taking a bit of a turn...I don't know.

I'll probably still work. Gotta make that coffee.

I'll probably still write. I have creative ideas that will undoubtedly carry from summer into the fall.

(have you read my novella yet? go back and read my novella. there's another part coming in a couple days.)

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. The most coherent answer I have is that I want to make things -- right now that's an interest in film, in TV, in visual storytelling. But there are so many ideas in mny head. So much ambition. There are a billion routes I could take. All of them are exciting, and none of them are definite. The road ahead, then, kind of just drops off a cliff for me. I might have to do some jumping soon.

I'm excited about that idea. About explaining it, not so much. Everything to come now that I'm graduated, to be honest, scares me, because as fun as it is to consider all the things I could do, the uncertainty between now and those things is one big dark pit of anxiety and weirdness. Who knows what's going to happen! Who knows what horrible thing is going to jump out and slap me across the face! Who! Knows!

I am learning to trust God for the dark unknown places and also the places I'm in now -- that he'll use the projects I'm working on currently, and that I'll listen to him through this summer. I'm trying my very hardest (I'm bad at it) to trust that I can walk into things I can't see or imagine yet and he'll take me through it. I'm learning, very slowly, that I don't know is a thing you're allowed to say about your future. After all, it's not like any of us know for certain. We're just making guesses and making wishes.

So, I'm graduated now.

And I don't know what I'm going to do with my life.

I'm a little bit excited to find out along the way.

cali is a solid 12/10 would recommend

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  1. Oh my goodness, I thought you were older than me. XD Welcome to the life of the new adults who have no clue. XD XD I graduated last year and college has never been something I planned. My plans I had when I was younger took a quick turn and now I want to pursue writing. So, I'm working to pay for my dreams and I'm working on my writing. I'm doing what I love and I'm learning more from that than school could ever teach me.

    Keep true to what you want to do and trust in God to guide you. People may think it's weird, but someday, you'll be a famous author or whatever else you want to be and doing what you love and they'll be working a job with their degree, a job they probably don't even like.

    Taking the road less travelled is fun. :D

    Congratulations on graduating. This is an awesome phase of life, also confusing, but it sounds like you have a good idea of what you want to do. Chase that dream down, girl! <3

    God bless!

    ~Ivie| Ivie Writes

  2. Congratulations, Aimee! I love your attitude on this new stage of life, and how much it reflects my own. Choosing not to attend post-secondary is probably one of the best decisions I've made, I know my life is not headed down that route. Keep on being awesome (and pumping out more awesome creativity for me to consume)!

  3. Congrats on Graduating! I didn't go to college either, and as a creative person. I'm really glad I didn't, I spend time on the things I want to do. Instead of doing what I'm expected to do.


    *tackle hugs you and throws confetti and glitter*

    I love California, it's great! Ooh, you went to San Diego? That's so cool, I went there once and it was awesome. ;)

    Yes, I love that you aren't afraid to take the path less traveled! You inspire me to be untraditional and unconventional, and I want to thank you for being such an inspiration to me and others. <3

  5. Congratulations, Aimee! Graduating highschool is such an exciting time. And a weird time... And often a judgment time for us who don't go by the world's standards of college and having our life completely figured out by the time we're 18 because THAT makes sense???

    Do you know here at 26 I still STILL stilllll get asked about college and all that stuff. And when I say I didn't go to college and am pursuing a writing career the "Looks" come. Every time. Because not going to college is some terrible sin???? And wanting to create stories, which I believe is one of the most powerful things in this world, is a waste of time and not a "real" job?

    But, every single time, after I get the Judgmental Looks and feel discouraged, God gets a hold of me and reminds me I'm precisely where He wants me, and following the passions He gave me for a reason.

    I say all this to say that you're going to be dealing with the world's Judgmental Eyebrows for a long time to come. But don't EVER let them stop you. Your stories are powerful! And I'm honestly inspired constantly by your ambition and drive. I am 50000% sure you are going to do amazing, epic things. God has some awesome plans for you.

    But I know you know all of this. Like you said, you're learning to handle those moments with confidence, which is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Stay just who you are, Aimee!

    I hope your coming years are blessed, fulfilling, creative ones! Congrats again! *throws confetti*

    (P.S. This is totally random, but I just recently saw Mad Max: Fury Road for the first time and thought it was awesome and it made me think of your blog. When he said the "feels like hope" line I was thinking, "OH YES. That's Aimee's blog title!" Just had to let you know. *grins*)

  6. Ahhh california looks so beautiful! It's definitely on my travel list to go there.

    And boy do I feel you about not knowing what to do with life. I have one more year of high school, but man...the struggle is real. Not knowing what the future holds is scary and uncertain, but trusting God through it all :) A lot easier said than done though...(also the look you get when you even suggest you might not go to college IS fierce lol)

    I wish you the best, Aimee! Go get those dreams and stick to it even in the tough times. You'll make it, and you're gonna do great.

  7. Congrats on graduating! And yeah, you don't have to go to college.

  8. Congratulations on graduating! I'm almost done myself and it's both exciting and mildly (very) terrifying.

    Good luck on your future endeavors: you do great things and make great art, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you're going to head next!

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  10. Many congrats on graduating, Aimee!! Goodness, we're really similar because I didn't "do" anything for graduation except pack my books away in the garage and tell my mom (who hugged me and told me good job). *grins* Everyone asked me if I did a party, and I told them, "No. I didn't."

    I get those questions all the time, and most of the time I just say, "I'm not going to college, I want to be a photographer." And people nod and say something like, "that's nice." I just shrug because "photographer" isn't all I want to do, but it's a good enough answer.

    I can't wait to hear / see all the amazing things you're going to create (did you say Bright Eyes?!?!), and wish ya all the best ever.

    p.s. trying a 2nd time bc my first comment had a mistake in it. ops.

  11. Loved this post!!! Congrats on graduating! That's crazy!

    Nabila | Hot Town Cool Girl

  12. Have I mentioned lately how freaking proud I am of you?


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