i don't know what i want out of 2018

by - 12/30/2017



Right now I'm sitting in a different Starbucks in a different state and 2018 is like, two days away, so I'm trying to think of the words to say and some clever goals to formulate and you know what? I don't have any. 

I don't know what I'm doing this upcoming year. 

In 2017 I had a job, and then acquired a new (and better, more coffee-filled!) one very suddenly. I kept on going to counseling. I bought some lipstick. I bought a car, sold that car, and then bought a less fun but ultimately much better one a few months later. I traveled with family and by myself. I kind of...learned how to be an adult, in lots of ways. And now, a whirlwind later, I'm here, traveling again, in my favorite state with some favorite relatives, in my least favorite of months, looking in on a year that's going to be crazier. 

SOME THINGS HAPPENING IN 2018:

  • graduating high school (!)
  • turning eighteen (!!) 
  • i really don't know what else.
you probably have the point by now. 

A lot of things are about to change in my life. I'm right on the verge of a place I've never been before, and I'm... ready for it. People talk about how they aren't ready to become adults and live their own lives and grow up, but I've always been the opposite. I can't wait to be more independent and take care of myself and be a grown-up. I feel like I've been ready to do that for at least two years now. I love my family, but the idea of living by myself and taking care of myself is one that appeals to me. I'm itching and ready to jump into something new and responsible that I can control. 

I just don't know how that's going to work yet. 

A lot of my friends are thinking about or getting into or preparing for college now. That's awesome, I'm happy for them, they're doing amazing, and at the same time, that isn't the route I'm taking. I'm at peace with the kind of decision I've made about my post-graduation life. I like the decision that I've made. It's the one that's best for me. And yet, it's one that makes it a little trickier to see what the future has for me, especially when you mix in my career ambitions -- if people could stop asking me for my detailed ten-year-plan, that would be great. Right now I'm in a place of being energetic and ready to go but... not knowing where I'm going. Being still. Seeing what opportunities God has for me and making sure those opportunities are the right ones. 

I like that. 

I also really really don't like that because I'm remarkably impatient. 

Looking at 2018 right now, it's a whole mess of we'll see, I don't know, I wonder what's going to come my way. This is not ideal control-freak conditions. At the same time, however, I'm excited. 

I'm excited to have a year where I'll be able to make choices and move forward. 

I'm excited to come to know what God's plan is for me and what I'm supposed to be doing. (Stop asking what I'm going to do when I graduate. I don't know yet! I don't have a drawn-out plan! I'm eighteen! I'm a stupid kid in lots of ways still! It's okay! Chill out!) There are so many things I'd like to do and projects I'm finally realizing I'm able to do on the horizon, and I can tackle those where possible. Some things are going to come up that I don't anticipate right now. That's expected, and that's okay. 

2018 is a year of free-falling and taking opportunities as they come. 

I don't have some big grand plan for it. 

That's okay. 



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12 Comments

  1. I feel like SO MANY people tried so hard in 2017, that we're all just like, "2018, JUST THROW ANYTHING (BUT SHADE) AT ME CUZ I DON'T HAVE A PLAN." I think it'll be good to just, let life happen, because that's what's important; allowing ourselves to live in the moment and make the present SO RICH, the future is just automatically exciting, instead of forcing anything to be anything. Great post, girl. :)

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    1. *casually copy and pasts that into a new post; sometimes i surprise myself when i say things like that*

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  2. This is wonderful, Aimee. I've been thinking a lot of similar things. here's to taking 2018 one moment at a time ^_^

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  3. Same, Aimee, same. People ask me if I'm going to college and when I tell them I'm not, they look at me funny as if to say, "It would be so much easier for us to understand you if you just acted like everyone else." You know, I tell them, if I had a ten year plan I'd be God or something, because I can't see that far ahead in my life.

    I kind of…know what I'm doing.
    but mostly I don't. It's fine.

    I hope your 2018 is amazing even if it's not all drawn out on paper.
    k.

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  4. great, honest post aimee. it's ok to not alwayshave a plan, because so much of life is not actually ever under our own control. it's a crazy unexpected ride, and taking it one step at a time, slowing down, and not always being in this huge rush for 'the future' is great. I think you'll have a fantastic year, because you strike me as the kind of person who has an existent work ethic and is always ready to learn, and to take on challenges. xx
    I mentioned your blog in my 2017 wrap-up post, btw!

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  5. Basically sums my feelings up, I don't know. Excited to see what the future has in store.

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  6. I so get this post. I have no plan for 2018. I haven't had a plan for the last 3 years lol. But honesty, I've learned that sometimes the best things that happen to us in life are the things that aren't planned. Plus, there is something wonderful about telling people you aren't taking the typical path of going to college--the look on people's faces is wonderful ;) Just be you!

    ~Emily

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  7. I love your mindset - we don't have to have some big plan for our lives or new years; God will work things out. I'm so ready for change and new seasons in my own life and ya know, sometimes it's super exciting not knowing what will happen next. It's kind of fun! I hope that 2018 holds awesome things for you!!

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  8. Loved this post, Aimee. I feel that sometimes even in the most uncertain, there can be this underlying sense of peace. And that's kind of where I'm at right now. 2018...yeah I don't really know either to be honest, but everything will turn out okay because He's faithful.

    Wishing you all the best, girl :) Have an amazing year.

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  9. I feel like this is how every year starts for me, surrounded by fog and hoping and trusting that God will somehow guide me to the other side. In some ways it's exciting, but in more ways it's the most terrifying thing! Embrace your independence and every new exciting opportunity, but always rely on God for everything. I'm sure 2018 will be the best year yet!

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  10. This is the absolutely perfect New Year post. I'm super proud of you and can't wait to see everything God has in store for you. :)

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  11. Proud of you, Aimee. <3 Keep on being awesome.

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