behind the name

An important thing to know about me is the fact that the title quote for my blog comes from Mad Max: Fury Road, one of the best movies of all time, because I could have picked a song lyric or a line from a poem or something but I'm much more a sucker for fast-paced apocalypse films. 

feels like hope.

"Hope" is a multi-faceted, multi-layered word. It contains so many meanings that you could go over it a thousand times from a thousand different angles and still have new thoughts to think. For me, "hope" is something defined in a multitude of ways -- it's defined by my faith, by my life, by my experiences, by my approach, by the stories I love. It's the promise of what's to come. It's faith, putting one foot in front of the other even if you don't know where you're going because you know that someone does. It's the act of giving up the things you want to cling on to in favor or something bigger. 

It's the act of putting everything you are into something bigger than yourself and refusing to let go. 

Hope is a hard thing to find and an even harder thing to hold. In my own life it's been something I haven't particularly grasped until recently, and even now, more often than not I let it fall through my fingers. But every so often, when I'm on the ground... I feel something. I feel the something bigger than myself, the threads holding me up when I can't hold myself, the weight of something more being in control of the things I thought I was supposed to lead. I feel the realization that I'm not actually the one with the steering wheel, I'm the one who needs to put the foot on the gas even if I can't see the road in front of me because I'm trusting that there is someone steering and I'll get where I need to go. 

I feel all of these things, and it feels like hope.